Rollin’ in the Valley… Part I

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Anybody who knows me will tell you, I’m very patriotic.
I love South Australia.
So, when I was asked to join the Clare Valley Cuisine and Clare Valley Tours food expedition Last week, this gals answer was a resounding… HELLS YEAH!
I’m always super excited about attending any event that brings together my two great loves, food and travel.
However I will admit, even being a proud South Aussie, I hadn’t personally been to Clare in a number of years… That is unless you count all the gorgeous wine I’ve voraciously consumed from the Valley, thus making me somewhat of a local… Right…?

My memories of the Clare Valley exist only from my childhood, when I spent a few school holidays at my friend Linda’s, grandparent’s farm in Farrell Flat.
This tiny little town didn’t have a deli, so we often went to Clare to stock up on lollies (as you do when you’re 10), and the occasional trip to Burra.
Being on the farm was hilarious…
Linda and I we’re often in trouble for eating her Nan’s freshly cooked Lamb roasts.
She oddly, had a penchant for cooking it the night before and then serving them cold at lunch.
We’d sneak out at midnight and attack the fresh roast like a couple of Hyena’s, devouring whole chunks then later blaming the poor dog.
It drove her Nan berserk and, being the little bastards we were, we thought it was hysterical… Ahhh such good times.
I also remember their Oranges.
They were the good ones. The tangy, delicious type that gives you cramps, because you can’t stop eating them.
I spent a number of hours in a citrus induced, groaning fetal position on that farm…

Anyhoo, given the opportunity to rediscover this South Australian food trail gem, I was excited, and when I received the itinerary and saw what we had in store for us, I seriously couldn’t wait to get on that bus!
On our trip, we had Dave our host and driver, three of my fellow food bloggers, Dougal McFuzzlebutt, Camellia and Jo.
We had the amazing local chefs Tze Khaw and Patrick Cheong, as well as two other industry professionals Tomas and Leon, the brilliant food photographer John Kruger and then lastly, me, the newbie of the group.

Myself, and a couple others, were being collected by Dave at 9:30am, he would be waiting at the Entertainment Centre.
How embarrassing I thought, should I arrive for the bus and be the last one on, I made a firm mental promise not to be late.
Of course, I was the last one to arrive and everyone was already waiting on the bus… Damn it!
But, they were gracious… “Oh no Bree, we weren’t waiting long…”

Note to self: DO NOT be the last person on the bus again, no-one likes a diva.

So, off we set.
The drive into the Valley is gorgeously scenic, once you leave the city highways behind and make your way onto the rural roads.
Passing through sweet little towns, many with stories that our knowing guide Dave, would happily share.
Driving past acres of land, with all manner of crops. This time of year the Canola is starting to flower, and there’s nothing prettier to me than a large expanse of bright yellow in a field. Like a happy sea of sunshine, you can’t help but smile.

Rollin in the Valley 1

Our first stop on this foodie crawl was Rohde’s Free Range Egg farm.
I am a huge advocate for free-range and humane products, so to visit a true free range egg producer, and see the hens in their home, was a real treat for me.
We were greeted upon arrival by John and Angela Rohde, with a platter of Frittata made by a talented local chef using their gorgeous eggs, which immediately had me salivating.
Rohde’s is a local, family run farm, and has been in the Rohde family for more than 50 years.
They are R.S.P.C.A. accredited, which means that unlike some ‘Free-Range’ farms (who aren’t actually as kind to the animals as we consumers may believe), they run their hens on a system of no more than 1500 animals per hectare (which equates to per 6.5m² of personal space per lady).
And, after meeting the girls myself, I can attest, they are certainly, happy little fowls.
They have large areas to roam and forage as nature intended.
Camellia and I were in fits, over the hens frolicking cutely together in the tall grass and the ridiculous lady who was hanging out by herself in a tree.
They have large sheds to lay their daily eggs in and, which also offer them protection.
Hens are not that unlike us. They feel the cold and don’t want to sit out in the rain.
They like roosting indoors at night, away from predators and the cold Valley winds.
But, these little ladies can come and go as they please, they live a life of freedom, and that freedom is evident in the quality of their eggs.

Rollin in the Valley 2

After the Rohde’s egg farm, we set our course for Pangkarra Foods.
Another family operated farm. Anama Park is a 3000 acre farm on the outskirts of Clare, which has been in the Maitland family since 1866, and is now run by David, Margot, their son Jim and his lovely wife Katherine.
They use sustainable practices and all of the durum wheat they produce for the Pangkarra Foods range of flour, dried pasta and lavosh is traditionally stone milled, meaning that the goodness isn’t extracted and it retains its healthy qualities, and deliciously nutty flavour.
We were shown the silos and the wheat crop, then taken back to David and Margot’s home for a delicious lunch.
A truly delicious lunch!
We started with a Garlic Flatbread.
The smells emanating from the plate, and the soft, warm salty bread were a divine start for the pasta that was soon to follow.
Look, I will admit, I am a lover of whole wheat, but I’m also a sucker for refined carbs…
This pasta was delicious and soft enough to change even the most steadfast lover of white flour pasta’s mind.
We were treated to a plate of Pangkarra Penne with a Pancetta, Zucchini, Basil and Cream sauce.
Totally delicious. I inhaled mine in record speed.
Then dessert… the sheer size of the Triple Cream Brie that made its way onto our table was enough to induce a collective moan around the table.
Combining this feast with local wines and beers, and open fires to warm our cockles, we were a lucky bunch and this was certainly a meal to remember.

Rollin in the Valley 3

Full to our gizzards but, needing to carry on, we set off for the Clare Country Club.
A really lovely, and centrally located 4* Resort.
The perfect place to rest your weary feet (and wine weary head) after a day of exploring the Valley, if B&B’s aren’t your thing.
We were running behind after our fun-filled lunch, so I dropped my bags and gave myself an English shower.
After rejoining the group, we quickly made our way to the the next port of call, another local farm called Warrick Grove, right before dinner at the celebrated local restaurant, Terroir in Auburn (but, more about that next week…).
Phil and Grier Warrick manage a 10 acre olive grove at Watervale.
The absolutely delicious, Extra Virgin Olive Oil they produce, is multiple award winning (Gold, Silver and Bronze), is exclusively used in many restaurants and wineries, stocked in many gourmet shops and greengrocers, and is now making its way onto Coles supermarket shelves around the country.
A gorgeous South Australian product and a fabulous success story.

Rollin in the Valley 4

Our first day was shaping up to be quite a treasure, so much so that I have created the following dish for your pleasure, in honour of these three amazing producers and their spectacular products…
My Whole Wheat Carbonara… with a twist.
Is it breakfast… or is it lunch… or dinner? I don’t know, you decide.
In any case, it’s a delight…

Seeya Next week for Part II of my Clare Valley odyssey…
Until Friday xxx

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Whole Wheat Carbonara… with a twist
Author: 
Recipe type: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 4
 
Ingredients
  • 375gm Pangkarra Wholegrain Spaghetti
  • 4 large Rohde’s Free Range Eggs - make sure they are super fresh
  • 4 cloves of Garlic
  • ⅓ cup Warrick Grove EVO
  • ⅓ cup firmly packed freshly grated Parmesan
  • 100gm flat Pancetta - sliced thinly
  • 2 tbs White Vinegar
  • Salt and White pepper
  • Extra grated Parmesan and Flat leaf Parsley to serve
Instructions
  1. Pre-heat your oven to 200c, place the pancetta on a flat tray and roast for approx. 5 minutes until super crisp. Do not take your eyes off it as it will burn very quickly. Drain on absorbent paper and set aside until ready to use.
  2. Bring a large pot of salted water to the boil. Add the spaghetti and cook, stirring occasionally until al dente, approx. 8 minutes. Drain the pasta, reserving ½ cup of pasta water.
  3. In a large fry pan, place the finely chopped garlic and the oil. Turn on the heat, and slowly bring up the temperature until the garlic starts to brown slightly and release it’s aroma. Add the cooked pasta and the reserved water, then season really well with salt and pepper. Cook for a further minute, then take off the heat and add the grated Parmesan.
  4. Meanwhile, bring another fry pan of water to a simmer, add the vinegar. Once the water is just below boiling, add the eggs and cook for 2 - 3 minutes until softly poached - make sure the yolks are still runny, this is very important.
  5. Divide the pasta between 4 plates.
  6. Remove the eggs with a slotted spoon and serve each one on top of the pasta, with the crisp pancetta, the extra parmesan and a scattering of parsley. Drizzle with another flourish of EVO and eat immediately.
  7. Tip: To make perfectly poached eggs, you need to have super fresh eggs, otherwise the whites will run and they will not hold their shape in the water.

F.F… Chicken and Cashew Korma

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Chicken and Cashew Korma

This Friday Feast is more of a Friday Follow-on…
I shared with you all on Monday, my super delicious Beef Cheek Saag Gosht and this Chicken Korma is the perfect partner in Indian banquet crime.
It’s also equally delicious on it’s own.

Who doesn’t love a Korma…?
The smooth, creamy mild sauce, with the meltingly tender meat ohhhh yeahhhh!
India is a country I’ve always been fascinated by, but never had the chance to visit.
And, being a self proclaimed Curry-Muncher, I could certainly eat spicy food all day, every day…
I was undoubtedly Asian in a past life.

My husband Cory however, is a very different kettle of fish.
Long ago, he was severely scarred by an unholy kidney infection, which tragically coincided with a meal of Curried Sausages (I KNOW! Curried Sausages… WTF? I’m truly scarred by the concept of that dish…).
Anyhoo, this unfortunate pairing put the poor man off curry for life… until he met me.
My penchant for all things spiced, compelled him to open his mind and his stomach once again, and although it took me a couple of years to do so, he is once again an avid lover of Indian food.

Chicken Korma is one of his favourites and it makes a regular appearance on our dinner table, not just because it’s so super easy, but it’s also pretty quick.
This recipe is my Cashew version (I sometimes use Almond meal instead) and, is it traditional…? Probably not, since I’m not of Indian descent, but in any case, it’s bloody tasty!
Now, I just need to get him back onto Thai food and my life would be complete…

Until Monday xxx

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Chicken and Cashew Korma
Author: 
Recipe type: Dinner
Cuisine: Indian
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 4
 
Ingredients
  • 1kg Chicken Thighs halved
  • 2 tbs Ghee - or veg oil will do
  • 1 medium Brown Onion
  • 3 large cloves Garlic
  • 3cm piece of fresh Ginger
  • 4 Cardamon pods crushed lightly
  • ½ tsp of Hot Chilli powder – or to taste (Korma is supposed to be a mild curry)
  • 1 tsp each of – ground Ginger, ground Cinnamon, ground White Pepper, Fenugreek seeds.
  • 2 tsp each of – Coriander seeds, Cumin seeds roughly crushed in a mortar and Pestle or substitute for ground
  • 2 tsp each of - ground Turmeric, Salt.
  • 1 can crushed tomatoes
  • 1 can coconut milk
  • 3 tbs Cashew meal – Process or crush in a Mortar and pestle ¼ cup of Roasted Cashews
  • Fresh Coriander leaves and extra roasted Cashews to serve.
Instructions
  1. Process the onion, garlic and ginger until a paste has formed.
  2. Heat the ghee in a heavy based saucepan. Add the onion paste and fry until translucent and fragrant. Add all the spices. Fry for a couple of minutes until fragrant and cooked.
  3. Add tomatoes, coconut milk and raw chicken. Bring to boil and cook, covered over low heat at a slow simmer until the chicken is tender – about 45-50 minutes. Add Cashew meal to taste until desired thickness.
  4. Serve sprinkled with chopped fresh coriander and extra Cashews.
  5. ***Tip: To roast the Cashews, place on a baking tray into a pre-heated 200c oven for 10-15 minutes (Or be lazy like me and buy them already dry roasted… )
  6. *** Tip: If you don’t have Cashews, I also substitute for Almond meal sometimes too

There’s nothing wrong with being cheeky…

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Beef Cheek Saag Gosht

As you may already know, Cory and I were married in Bali.
And, after having already spent 6 years with me, my husband was well aware that in order to facilitate a happy union… he was best to just step aside and let me plan the entire event.
But, before you get all Poor Cory… on me, if you know my husband you would also know, this arrangement suited us both just fine.

Cory did however, have two matrimonial requests.
A swim-up pool bar at our chosen resort and a whole Suckling Pig at the Wedding reception.

I have to admit, when I first considered the pig as part of our Balinese dinner, as traditional as she was, she wasn’t really part of my plan.
Sitting at the wedding table in all my finery with a dead hog looking at me wasn’t exactly romantic, however after some thought (and gentle coaxing from my sister Dyani… something along the lines of “Just give him the damn pig, you bitch!”) I agreed, and the poor little porker was destined for our dinner table gallows.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do LOVE pigs.
Pork, Bacon, Pancetta, Prociutto, Sausage…
There is nothing about this gentle, smart and gorgeous (hmmmmm… Probably not 3 words you’d string together for something you plan to eat… ) animal that I don’t love.
Having said this, you’d be right for thinking that I probably shouldn’t eat them then if I feel that way, but alas… they are just so damn tasty!

Anyhoo, we were getting a piggy and it was going to be good.
If you’ve ever eaten Babi Guling, you would realize, our guests were in for a treat.

So, the big day came and the reception was in full swing.
Time to eat.
The roasted pig came out in all her glory, not so much a baby suckling but a small pre-teen big enough to feed all 50 of us.
She had the apple in her mouth that Cory requested… “I want to feel like a Viking” were his exact words when quizzed why the fruit filled snout was such a necessity.
She was paraded around the reception on her elaborate alter to loudly repeated Ohhh’s and Ahhh’s, as she so deserved.
She then took residence on the carving table where the Chef proceeded to dissect her for our eating pleasure.
And lastly, she was added to platters of traditional Balinese fare, so our guests could eat what they wanted without leaving their chosen seats.
I was super excited, she looked and tasted so damn delectable, I knew she didn’t die in vain…

This was made especially clear to me when Cory sent a request for her head. “We will eat her all!” he exclaimed.
We will not waste a morsel of this beast.
Look, I’m not squeamish, but this was my Wedding, and instead of gazing fondly into the eyes of my new husband, I was now sharing candlelight stares with a roasted pigs head.

I started dry retching just a little when her brain was removed by Cory and he gave it a sample…
His words… “Not so good, it’s been boiled in her head”
Retch, retch, retch…
Nevertheless, Cory, our good friend Nick, and Cory’s cousin, Bubby all devoured the entire head.
The entire head.

I asked for a post Pig Head review and this was Cory’s reply…
“Ears were good. Flavoursome but Chewy. I can see why dogs like them, they’re tasty and last for ages”
“Tongue was chewy and tasted exactly like the bad breath you would imagine a pig to have, Brain was foul, would’ve rather eaten its arse and the apple didn’t taste like Pork at all…”
“The cheeks… they were goooood”

Now I can certainly attest, there is nothing finer in this world than a good cheek.
Pigs cheeks are one of those amaze ingredients that when prepared and cooked correctly, just can’t be beaten.
They are so damn cheap too, and always a show stopper… this also goes for our other farmyard friend, the Cow.
Beef cheeks are so freakin’ good, it’s actually my favourite bovine cut.
I can never go past them.

So, in honour of our gorgeous sacrificial wedding pig and her equally delicious furry friend the Cow, I’m sharing with you all my Beef Cheek Saag Gosht recipe.
Trust me now, if you are looking for an easy and delicious way to celebrate the humble cheek, then look no further than this tasty Indian curry.
However, when it comes to this recipe, all you Hindu Sisters and Misters may want to turn the other cheek… or make it with Lamb shoulder which is just as good.

Until Friday xxx

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Beef Cheek Saag Gosht
Author: 
Recipe type: Lunch Dinner
Cuisine: Indian
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 6
 
Ingredients
  • 2kg Trimmed Beef Cheeks - halved if large.
  • 2 tbs Ghee
  • 1 large brown Onion
  • 3 cloves Garlic
  • 3cm thumb of fresh ginger
  • I bunch of Coriander - leaves reserved for serving.
  • 10 Curry leaves - optional
  • 4 cardamon pods crushed lightly
  • 1 Tsp each of – ground Ginger, ground Cinnamon, ground Turmeric, ground White Pepper, Fenugreek seeds.
  • 2 tsp each of – Coriander seeds and Cumin seeds roughly crushed in a mortar and pestle if you have one or substitute for ground.
  • 2 tsp each of Smoked Paprika, Hot Chilli powder and Salt
  • 1 can crushed tomatoes
  • 1 cup of water
  • 1 pack of frozen spinach – thawed and drained (or 1 bunch of Spinach, blanched, chopped and drained… I’m just lazzzzyyyy!!)
Instructions
  1. Pre-heat your oven to 150c
  2. Mince together in a small processor the Onion, Garlic, Fresh ginger and the stems and roots from the fresh Coriander.
  3. Heat a large casserole or heavy based oven proof dish (20cm x 30cm) over a med-high heat. Sear the beef cheeks in batches until well browned and caramelized. Remove from the heat and set aside.
  4. In the same pot/pan heat the ghee, then add the onion mix. Cook stirring continuously until becoming fragrant then add the Curry leaves and all of the spices. Cook stirring for another 2 minutes until they are fragrant and no longer raw, then add the tinned tomatoes and the water.
  5. Stir well, then return the beef cheeks to the pan in a single layer on top of the sauce. Wrap well with 3 layers of foil to enclose (3 layers will stop the steam and juices from evaporating in the oven) and cook for 5 hours.
  6. Once cooked, remove the cheeks, and stir the spinach through the sauce and reheat on the stove.
  7. Place the cheeks into your serving dish, spoon over the sauce and serve with a scattering of the reserved Coriander leaves.
  8. *** Tip: Serve with rice and a dollop of Yoghurt or as part of an Indian Banquet

F.F… Moroccan Chickpea and Lentil Soup

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Moroccan Chickpea and Lentil soup

Today’s Friday Feast, is a true Winter Warmer in more ways than one.
This spiced soup will certainly warm those cockles on a frosty eve, but it will also warm the soul…

It’s Vegetarian and, even Vegan if you forgo the Yoghurt (but honestly, I believe the Yoghurt makes it AWESOME, so only skip this step if you truly have to…).
So, you can feel good about the fact that no cute, furry little critters had to meet their maker for your eating pleasure, yet it’s hearty enough to satisfy even the hungriest, man sized stomachs (Unless said stomach is my husband Cory’s… that carnivorous man would eat the ass out of a low flying duck…).

It’s totes easy on the wallet too… This pot of Soup will feed an entire family, and you could do it for under $10.00.

And, to top it all off, it’s also super healthy. SUPER HEALTHY!!! Now that’s warming….

So if you’ve had just a few too many cheeky Winter Reds and feel the time is nigh to start that Holy Shit Summer’s Coming! diet…
Or, maybe you just want to counteract the giant Double-Cheeseburger you ate for lunch?…
Hop to it, get yourself a pot of this super easy, and damn delectable Soup on the stove, and I promise you’ll put it in your Top 10 repertoire forever more.

Man, I’m good to you all aren’t I…?
Until Monday xxx

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Moroccan Chickpea and Lentil Soup
Author: 
Recipe type: Lunch, Dinner
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 10
 
Ingredients
  • 1 Leek - halved, then finely sliced
  • 3 medium Carrots - diced
  • 3 large sticks of Celery - diced
  • 1 tbs Olive Oil
  • 3 tsp ground Cumin Seeds
  • 3 tsp ground Coriander Seeds
  • 1 tsp hot Chilli powder - add more if you like it hot
  • 2 tbs Tomato Paste
  • 6 cups good quality Vegetable stock - homemade is best… see tip
  • 400gm tin of crushed Tomatoes
  • ½ cup dried Brown Lentils
  • 1 bunch fresh Coriander
  • 1 tin Chickpeas- drained and rinsed
  • 120gm Baby Spinach
  • Salt and Pepper
  • Plain Yoghurt to serve
Instructions
  1. In a heavy based pot, add the oil with the Leek, Carrot and Celery. Cook stirring for around 5 minutes until the veg has started to break down.
  2. Add the spices and cook stirring for a further minute until fragrant, then add the tomato paste and cook for a further minute.
  3. Add the Stock and tinned tomatoes, then add the finely chopped stalks from the coriander with the dried lentils. Stir to combine, then bring to the boil. Lower to a simmer, place the lid on the pot and cook for 30 minutes until the lentils are soft.
  4. Add the Chickpeas and the Baby Spinach, stir until the spinach is wilted and then add most of the Coriander leaves. Season well.
  5. Serve with a dollop of Yoghurt and a scattering of the remaining Coriander.
  6. *** TIP: To make my Vegetable Stock, I use ANY leftover herbs and vegetables that are on the way out in my fridge, and I generally make it at night.
  7. Roughly chop the veg and place in a stockpot or large saucepan with 2 roughly chopped Onions, 10 dried bay leaves and 1 tsp whole peppercorns. Top with 5.5 ltrs water and bring to the boil. Simmer with the lid on for 2 hours, then leave on the stove top overnight to extract as much veggie flavour as possible. In the morning, drain, then measure into 4 x 1ltr and 4 x 1 cup portions, and freeze in zip-lock bags until needed.

F.F… Jamaican Jerk Pork Ribs with Spiced Rum glaze

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Jamaican me hungry!!
Put your spice-belts on peeps, and hold on for dear, dear life!
This one will knock those frilly little cotton socks, straight off your footsies.
Be Warned!
If you’re a chilli light weight, go easy on the Habanero (it’s hotter than you think…), but if you’re a heat seeking missile like me… go hard!
This ‘Friday Feast’ or ‘F.F.’ for short, is perfect for those cold, wintry weekends, when you’re dining with friend’s, and fantasizing about warmer climates…
Or, perhaps you’re just smoking it up like Bob Marley… I’m talking about the BARBEQUE you bunch of crims.
Anyhoo, please enjoy my rib-tastic take on the always classic, Jamaican Jerk. Serve with an ice cold beer… and maybe a glass of milk. Yaaaa Man!
Until Monday… xxx

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Jamaican Jerk Pork Ribs with Spiced Rum glaze
Author: 
Recipe type: Nibbles, Lunch, Dinner
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 4
 
Ingredients
  • 2 kgs meaty Pork Baby Back ribs
  • Dry rub –
  • 5 dried Habanero chillis - or any other dried chilli you have on hand… make it as hot as you dare…
  • 3 tsp dried Garlic flakes
  • 3 tsp dried Onion flakes
  • 3 tsp dried Thyme
  • 3 large dried Bay leaves
  • 2 tsp ground Allspice… do not get this confused with mixed spice… Allspice Pimento is a dried berry.
  • 2 tsp Salt
  • 2 tsp Smoked Paprika
  • 1 tsp Celery seeds
  • Glaze –
  • 400gm can Tomato puree or Passata
  • 1 cup Brown sugar
  • 1 cup Brown vinegar
  • ½ cup Jamaican spiced rum - I use Captain Morgans
  • small bunch of fresh thyme - tied with a string for easy removal
  • 1 small Onion finely chopped
  • 2 cloves Garlic finely chopped
  • 1 cinnamon quill
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 2 fresh oranges for basting
Instructions
  1. Crush all the rub ingredients in a mortar and pestle or spice grinder. Rub evenly over the ribs and place in the fridge to marinate for at least 3 hours or overnight.
  2. Pre-heat your oven or hooded barbeque to 100c, then cook the ribs, uncovered on a baking tray for 4 hours, turning every hour. If using the bbq, cook the ribs on a rack in the top, not on direct heat.
  3. During the cooking time, every hour, use the fresh oranges to baste the ribs and keep them moist by cutting the oranges in half and squeezing directly onto the ribs.
  4. Meanwhile, to make the Glaze… In a small saucepan, combine all the glaze ingredients, bring to the boil over a high heat, then reduce to a simmer and cook it for approx. 1 hour or until reduced and saucey. Set aside until ready to use.
  5. Once cooked and falling apart, paint the meaty side of the ribs with the glaze, then increase the oven temp to 220c or turn your barbie up to high and cook for another 5 to 10 minutes until sticky.
  6. Cut the ribs into smaller portions and serve immediately.
  7. Eat and dream of Summer!!

For the love of Kava…

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Proscuitto, Pea and Minst sauce with Hand-cut Spinach Tagliatelle

I’ve been told quite a bit lately, that I’m wound tighter than Shirley Temple’s ringlets.
Mainly, from my husband, but sadly, I would also have to agree.
I’ve been somewhat of a stress head.
I’m unfortunately prone to irrational outbursts…

Case in point; Yesterday when our cockatiel bird son ‘Larry’ wouldn’t go back into his cage and was instead zooming through my hallways looking for new places to drop his rectal bombs, I was getting myself so worked up, the consideration of actually opening the door and letting him fly to his (cat or element related) death, briefly crossed my mind.
Pure evil.
Anyway, later on last night, after discussing the possibility of going away with a couple of friends who were over for dinner, I promptly realized all too quickly what my major issue lately is…

I need a Holiday.
I really, really need a holiday.
Maybe it’s the ex-travel agent in me… or maybe it’s just because, for as long as I can remember, Cory and I have always been planning our next trip.
In any case, my husband is without a doubt, my favourite person to travel with. We always have fun, we always have adventures and a holiday with him, always sets me right.

My family is exactly the same.
We all love to travel.
I have two older sisters, and all three of us were married overseas.
At every wedding, we had plenty of guests to join us, because all of our friends love to travel too.

Each of our weddings was like a traveling circus, with drunken clowns, wild animals and ringleaders…
Each wedding has hilarious stories (all of which, I will tell you over time) that in some cases are so completely ridiculous and infamous, that they have actually become Urban Myths… Hoo-Har, I’m talking to you…
And, each wedding had food. Lots and lots of food, and lots of food related stories.

My sister Dyani was first.
She and her husband Mark, were married in Fiji.
Cory and I had only been with one another for just over a year, and this was our first overseas trip together.
I already knew my husband was ridiculous, and a lot of fun, but nothing could EVER prepare me for what he was about to subject me to.

What, you might ask, could he have done that was so bad… well friends, let me tell you a story…

We were in Fiji with about sixty other people.
All of us friends, and all of us wanting to have a good time.
Alcohol was flowing freely.
Children were still just a dream in our minds.
And, between the lot of us, there was not a care in the world.
Cory was having the time of his life, letting loose and getting to know everyone in my family and circle better.
He was the life of the party, and won ‘Best on Ground’ for the trip.
Yes, this is all very well, but one thing about my husband, is he loves making new friends.
He will talk to anyone and everyone.
Once he’s got a couple of beers under his belt, his reserved demeanour is a distant memory and he’ll be off, meeting new people and making plans.

Anyhoo, about midway through our trip, we were all out in the hotel nightclub.
On this evening, I’d had quite a few drinks, but decided to call it a night and go to bed around midnight, so I left Cory there to carry on and I returned to our room to sleep.
Waking up the next morning, I felt terribly worse for wear, and rolling over to wish Cory a good morning, all I could think about, was how much I wanted to lie by the pool with my sisters and girlfriends all day and drink cocktails out of coconuts.
But no, he’d made other plans…

Cory informed me, that he’d befriended the lounge singer and after having an in-depth discussion about Fijian cuisine, decided it was a momentous idea to pay this woman, to make us lunch in her village.
She asked for $60.00, so he insisted she take $100.00.

Look, don’t get me wrong, I love Fijian food, and ordinarily eating a meal cooked by someone in their home, especially overseas, is to me, an absolute treat.
But, I was terribly hungover, feeling entirely vomitus and there were alarm bells ringing in my ears which I couldn’t ignore.

I could’ve killed him, but I also could not, in good conscience stand her up, so off we set…
On the way to our Taxi, a giggling concierge yelled out from the front desk…
‘Heyyyyy Corryyyyy, don’t get locked out again… hahahaha!’
Yes, that’s a story for another time… it involves Kava, Cory and imaginary Cannibals.

So, we got into a taxi and after explaining to the driver our plans for the day, we made a deal for him to return in exactly 2 hours to collect us, and take us back to the resort.
Driving into the village, there were gorgeous children running from all directions, looking at us with wonder and absolute amusement.
We were directed to the right home, and in we went.
It was immediately obvious to me, that these were not wealthy people, and I was genuinely happy that Cory had been generous.

Our host for the afternoon, ‘Jenny’ greeted us warmly and ushered us into her lounge area, where we were directed to sit on the floor.
There was already an old man seated on the rug, flanking the Kava bowl, and when he smiled with his toothless grin (toothless, except for an odd, centralized ‘tusk’ that was the size of about 5 large teeth combined) and pulled back his sarong to reveal where he’d lost his leg from a run in with a cane train, I knew hilarity was sure to ensue.

Soon, heads were peering around corners, eagerly wanting to witness the strange Australians who were coming to lunch.
Jenny began to recite our menu for the day, and immediately, my fears subsided.
We were in for a treat, and any dangerous feelings I was harbouring for Cory, were now replaced with sheer gratitude.

She was making us a traditional Fijian Fish Curry.
There were going to be Mussels in a Coconut broth.
We were having fresh fruit, and yams and Fijian Asparagus.
My mouth was watering as I visualized the delicious spread that was soon entering my life.
I was so excited, I wanted to dance.
But first, we have Kava.

We sat with the old man, he said very little, just smiled at us with that gigantic tooth. I loved that hilarious old man.
We drank some Kava, and I tried to be polite while I did so, as I absolutely despise the taste of it.
I liken it to a cross between, OMO and mud. In hindsight, it was the tastiest offering of the day…

Then, it was time for lunch.
Much to our horror, we were informed that it was Fijian custom for the guests to eat first, then the hosts would dine on the left overs.
And, in spite of our heartfelt pleading, this was non-negotiable, so Cory and I sat ourselves down in the designated eating area, and awaited our much anticipated meal.

The meal arrived… my heart sank.
It was also, immediately obvious to me, that although Jenny was a gun on the mike, she was coldblooded assassin in the kitchen, killing everything in her path.

The ‘Curry’ was a whole fish carcass, no meat and no edible qualities about his head, lying in a pool of grey juice with questionable floaties.
The Mussel’s, were in an equally suspect broth, and when I tried to chew one, it was so tough, I wondered if she had in fact swapped my mussels, for rubber circles cut out of a discarded bicycle tyre.
The yams, were dry, the asparagus woefully overcooked.
I can’t actually remember another time in my life when I’ve so voraciously attacked a bowl of bananas, as they were the only inoffensive item lying in front of us.
I had been internally drooling while I awaited this feast, and now I was outwardly dying.
I collected myself immediately, and set about eating, what might have to be the most unappetizing meal I have ever been served.
Every bite was a challenge.
I can now relate to the contestants on Fear Factor when they have to eat fresh eyeballs.
In that moment, I’d happily trade for a fresh eyeball. In fact, I would’ve traded for an entire lambs head.
All I could think about was the distinct likelihood, of Cory and I being admitted to Hospital that evening.

I looked over at my now husband, and I was seriously shocked to see, that he seemed to be really enjoying the meal and was eating with pure gusto.
I wondered if it was just me, was I too fussy?
Or, maybe… he’s got serious mental retardation and I’d never picked up on it?
Later on, when we were discussing the events that transpired that day, Cory divulged that he was equally shocked whilst watching me eat, and felt the exact same way about me.
We were left feeling pleased enough with the thought, that if we were able to fool each other with our Oscar worthy performances, then Jenny would NEVER have known how we truly felt about her cooking.
Cory pleaded for more Kava, anything to wash down his meal, but much to his dismay, he was advised that once you start to eat, Kava time is finished.

Meanwhile, we were begging Jenny and her family to join us and take over.
We had a big breakfast, we said.
Oooh, our small Australian stomachs could not possibly handle another bite!
Satisfied that we had eaten enough, Jenny’s son swooped in, and finished off the diabolical meal.

We were then directed to a small mattress on the floor and told to lie down. It’s time to rest and sleep off the lunch.
Holy Mother of God.
Cory and I were frantically looking at each other, cursing and kicking ourselves for not getting the taxi sooner.
We lay together, huddled in a ball, while the entire family starting dancing about us, like a coven of witches around a full moon.
Jenny then put a song on the CD player, which they began singing together like some deranged choir, and after asking what the song was about, the answer was this…

‘It’s a beautiful song, it’s about a mother who loves her children, then she gets divorced and they have a terrible custody battle’…

WTF? I promise this is not a lie; I’m not clever enough to make that up.

Right about this time, we heard a horn honk.
Sweet Jesus, the taxi is here!
I felt like the hand of God had come down, and was lifting us from purgatory.
Cory and I spent most of the cab ride in absolute silence.
Occasionally, we’d glance over at each other with a knowing look.

But, it wasn’t until we arrived back at our room… that we finally spoke…
After we’d closed the door behind us, and latched the key, we looked over at each other and fell into such a maniacal fit of laughter that it lasted for an hour.
We then ordered room service, and I ate a bowl of Carbonara quicker than the Flash.

I wish I could say Cory learnt his lesson, but he didn’t.
For the rest of my natural life I will be at the mercy of his holiday hijinks.
We already have a lifetime of ridiculous stories, and I’m fairly certain, many more to come…
But until then, I can’t wait for my next trip away, to let down my hair and leave the stress of life behind.
For what good is a holiday, if it’s not truly memorable and what good is a husband, if they don’t make life interesting?

Note to everybody: This is an absolute work of Non-Fiction. I could never fantasize such a tall tale.
Names have been protected (because this family were truly gorgeous people) and you will never know where we were in Fiji, so don’t ask.
Also, please don’t let this story deter you, I am absolutely certain that most Fijians can cook, just not Jenny.

So now friends, in honour of what could quite possibly be the worst meal I will likely ever eat, please enjoy, my little spin on the easiest ‘Carbonara’ (and, I use the term very loosely) style pasta sauce known to man, my Prosciutto, Pea and Mint sauce.
Perfect for those times in life when you really need to replace something wretched with something tasty, and do it quickly.
I have also included the recipe for my Hand-cut Spinach Tagliatelle, just in case you’re inclined to make your own pasta too… Enjoy!

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Proscuitto, Pea and Mint sauce with Hand-cut Spinach Tagliatelle
Author: 
Recipe type: Lunch, Dinner
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 4
 
*** Please note; This simple sauce will go with any pasta you desire, store bought is absolutely fine.
Ingredients
  • Pasta - Prep and cook time - 1 hour
  • 400gm ‘OO’ Flour + plus extra for dusting
  • 100gm Baby Spinach
  • 3 large eggs
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tbs Olive Oil
  • Sauce -
  • 500ml heavy Cream
  • 150gm Prosciutto
  • 1 cup fresh or frozen Peas
  • 3 tbs finely shredded Mint leaves + extra leaves to garnish
  • Salt and White Pepper
  • Olive oil
  • grated Parmesan to serve
Instructions
  1. To make the Pasta - In the bowl of a food processor, place the spinach, and process until it is a fine paste. Add the rest of the ingredients and whiz until it comes together in a ball. Add a little extra flour if needed to make a stiffer dough. Remove from the processor and knead the dough on a dusted surface (or in a stand mixer if you have one) for approx. 8 - 10 minutes until it looks elastic and it bounces back when touched. Wrap in clingfilm and set aside at room temp. for 20 minutes to rest.
  2. Divide the rested dough into 6 equal portions.
  3. Set up your pasta machine and roll the dough through it, starting on the thickest, and going down until you reach the thinnest *** Please note, you can also hand roll the pasta with a rolling pin, be very careful to make it super thin though, otherwise your pasta will not be silky when cooked.
  4. Once the sheets are rolled, pull in the sides from each end, then cut the sheets into 1.5cm slices. Repeat this process until all the pasta is cut. Once cut, lay the pasta, in a single layer on a baking tray dusted with flour to dry out before cooking (it is worth investing in a pasta drying rack, they are around $10.00 from most cookware stores, and make life so much easier)
  5. Heat up a large pot of boiling water, and boil the pasta for approx 3 minutes until cooked and silky.
  6. Meanwhile, to make the sauce - In a large saute pan, heat some oil and fry the thinly sliced prosciutto. Once crispy and fragrant, add the cream. Cook for a further minute or two, to flavour the cream then add the peas. Cook until the peas are hot, but still vibrant green, then season well and stir through the mint.
  7. Add the cooked pasta, directly to the sauce and toss it together.
  8. Serve with a generous amount of parmesan and extra mint to garnish.

F.F… Prawn and Chicken Paella

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Prawn and Chicken Paella
Welcome to the inaugural post, for a little something I like to call… ‘Friday Feasting’.
I will share with you all, a different recipe every, single Friday…
How ridonculously lucky are you, my friendly peeps?
Uhhhh Huhhhh… straight from my cranium, to yours.

Since I really don’t have as many hours in my day as Beyoncé (nice one B x), I will sadly not accompany these F.F. recipes with a blog post…
So please, just relish in the fact you get my words of wisdom at least once a week (EVERY Monday for the uninitiated), and my kitchen craftiness in double the dose.

Today’s ‘Friday Feast’ is my Prawn and Chicken Paella.
I’m asking you friends, does this draw a crowd…? HELLS YEAH Sisters and Misters!
It’s super easy and super awesome.
Try it for yourself, and, if by chance you want to laugh your ass off while watching me cook it for you, go to the following link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPJdkoj5iWk and marvel in my hilarious, albeit amateur, cooking demonstration skills.

Note to self: STOP saying UMMMM and Liiiike all the time, you freakin’ novice!

Have a great weekend, and seeya on Monday Funday xxx

5.0 from 1 reviews

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Prawn and Chicken Paella
Author: 
Recipe type: Dinner
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 6
 
Ingredients
  • Olive oil
  • 300g peeled green king prawns - leave at least 2 per person with the heads and tails still attached (so you can suck that sweet, sweet brain juice)
  • 500g chicken thighs halved if large
  • 2 chorizo – halved then thinly sliced
  • 2 cups Calasparra or Arborio rice
  • 1 large brown onion - finely sliced
  • 2 cloves garlic – finely chopped
  • 1 red capsicum - finely sliced
  • 1 cup dry white wine
  • 1lt good quality chicken stock
  • 400g can crushed tomatoes
  • 3 tbs smoked paprika
  • Pinch saffron steeped in ½ cup boiling water
  • 1 cup frozen or fresh peas
  • Salt & pepper to taste
  • Handful of chopped flat leaf parsley
  • 1 lemon cut into wedges
Instructions
  1. Heat up your paella or saute pan over a medium-high heat.
  2. Toss the Chicken in 1tbs of oil, season well then fry until brown on both sides. Remove the chicken then add the Chorizo to the pan, reduce the heat and fry until brown and crisp. Remove the Chorizo from the pan and set aside.
  3. Add the Onion, Capsicum & Garlic. Cook for a few minutes until the veg is starting to break down, then add the Smoked Paprika and cook for a further minute.
  4. Deglaze pan with white wine and cook for 1 minute to reduce slightly then add back the Chorizo, Tomatoes, Saffron water & season to taste.
  5. Put the chicken back into pan then carefully pour rice around the chicken.
  6. Add the stock (making sure the rice is all covered), reduce the heat to low and allow it to cook without stirring for around 20 minutes until rice is almost cooked - this step can sometimes take a little longer depending on your stove top, but still Al dente and the liquid has reduced considerably. Don’t worry if it appears to be sticking, this will sort itself out when the rice rests later. If needed, bring the rice in from the sides of the pan occasionally.
  7. Scatter the peas over the top, cook for another 5 minutes.
  8. Add the Prawns cook for no more than 2 minutes depending on size (they will continue cooking in the steam as the rice rests). The Paella should now appear done with only a small amount of stock.
  9. Turn off the heat, cover completely with foil, and put in a warm place for 20 minutes. This step is very important it allows the rice to relax and soak up all the flavours.
  10. When ready to serve, sprinkle over flat leaf parsley, and serve in the middle of the table with lemon wedges placed around the rim of the pan.

Less, is always more…

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Perfect Cheese Toasty

Every now and then you really need to stop and appreciate the simple things in life.
We’re always so worried about how to make everything bigger and better that we sometimes forget about the fundamentals. The Pioneers if you will. Take for example, the simple Cheese Toasty.

Yes, you heard me… the deliciously decadent, utterly irreplaceable, classic cheese toasty.

After being recently reacquainted with this old friend on a lazy Saturday evening, I was immediately taken back to a time when simple was applauded and sanger’s were King.
In other words… when I was in my early twenties, travelling and too broke to afford anything else… except booze. Ahhh such good times!
Far too often, we are more concerned with adding Smoked Ham and Tomato to just sit back and appreciate that the mother-ship toasty, the one that started it all, really doesn’t need any improvement to make it the best.

Do not tell me, that there is a single cheese loving person reading this right now, who after watching a particular scene in The Devil wears Prada didn’t immediately think to themselves… “Man, I would sell my soul to that grey haired Satan RIGHT NOW for a Jarlsberg toasty!”
I, in fact, feel extreme anger at my very core, every time I watch Anne Hathaway (or should we call her… Anne Toastywalkaway) decline that delicious morsel.
Yes, the beautiful guy from Entourage cooking it is a definite draw card, but quite simply, he pales in comparison to the promise of a pan-fried sandwich filled with $10.00 worth of Norwegian cheese.

Now, I can certainly agree that some cheese toasties aren’t up to scratch. But, really, should we blame this on the toasty or the horrid person making it with substandard ingredients… I prefer to blame the latter.

I have 3 very important rules to adhere to when making the perfect cheese toasty, and here they are in no particular order (ignore them at your peril, for what is the point of such empty calories if they aren’t actually worth it?);

1. For the love of all that is Holy… use a good quality melting cheese.
If you fill it with processed pre-sliced ‘Cheddar’ (unless of course, this is your thing… in which case I’m actually shocked you have even found my blog and are reading it) your toasty will taste like the plastic that hideous cheese was wrapped in.
A good Tasty will always suffice, but in my mind a gorgeous oozy Swiss or sharp English Cheddar… Hallelujah.

2. Butter. That is all.
DO NOT use marjjorine… for God’s sake I can’t even spell it (nor do I want to).
If you do not paint both sides of the bread heavily with all-natural, salted, calorific butter – Yes, that’s right… 4 sides per toasty people… you are really just cheating. OK, you may save on a few grams of fat, but you are cheating your taste buds and you are definitely cheating your toasty.

3. Any sliced bread will do, as long as it’s White.
Look, I can appreciate that there are many folk out there who have trouble digesting white bread. But, realistically, you probably have just as much trouble digesting cheese…No?
So, why not throw caution and suppressed stomach gas to the wind… pun intended.
Please don’t get me wrong, I am an absolute advocate for Dark Rye and Gluten free, I personally prefer these options most of the time. But, when we’re talking about the ultimate cheese toasty, these healthy breads just won’t cut it. A gorgeous, crusty Pane De Casa. A soft, pillowy Cobb loaf…whatever. Pay the digestive price and stick to the white flour program or your toasty will suffer.

So friends, now that you have been armed with enough knowledge to reach epic heights of cheese toasty glory and are reminded of the beauty that exists in this unsung hero, there is only one thing left to do…
Grab that bread, slather on that butter, cram in that cheese and in less than 10 minutes your senses will be in such a dizzying state of ecstasy you’ll wonder how the hell you’d forgotten that they taste SO. DAMN. GOOD.

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Perfect Cheese Toasty
Author: 
Recipe type: Dinner
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 1
 
Ingredients
  • 100gm good quality Melting Cheese – Gruyere is the best… just saying…
  • 2 Slices thick, fresh White bread
  • 2 tbs Salted Butter
Instructions
  1. Heat a non-stick fry pan over a medium/low heat.
  2. Thickly butter every side of your bread. Lay the cheese on one slice of bread and top with the other slice to enclose.
  3. Place the sandwich into the fry pan and cook for 3 minutes on both sides or until brown and crisp on the outside and gooey on the inside.
  4. Leave to rest for 1 minute to cool slightly before cutting.
  5. Eat immediately and die happy.