My longest table

I had a cousin called Paul.

He was one of the most amazing people you could know.
He was always smiling. He was always laughing. He was always the life of the party.
He rode a motorbike and had tattoos of clowns with guns, what was not to love?
I remember being Fourteen and seeing Paul in the crowd at the Big Day Out, I thought he was the coolest dude I knew, and I was probably right.

Paul was outnumbered… big time.
We have 13 first cousins on my mum’s side, and he was the ONLY male.
And, I will tell you this friends, when you get us girls all together with our mothers, we’re loud enough to drown out a sonic boom.
But, Paul could hold his own.
I suppose it helped his cause, that us girls are all tomboys at heart who love to share a drink.
When Paul arrived every Christmas with his bottle of Jack Daniels or his Coopers Pale Ale’s, there was always someone (e.g. me) willing to partake in the festivities.

Nothing was too hard for Paul. He loved his family and friends, and we love him.
He was at every single event.
He was always willing to fly the flag for his immediate family.
If only one person could make a birthday or family event, it was always Paul, bottle of Jack’s in hand and crazy clown tattoo’s in tow.

Paul was a bachelor.
He had girlfriends, but he never got married and had kids. I guess it just wasn’t in his stars or maybe all those years with his cackling female relatives really put him off…
But he did love kids. He has 3 nephews, and next to his amazing sister, they were the apple of his eye.
He loved his friend’s kids. He loved his cousin’s kids. He loved my kids. And, they loved him.

3 years ago, Paul got sick. Paul got Cancer.

We were all angry. Why did this have to happen to him? Why him?
He’s far too young.
He’s got way too much to give.
I thought of his sister, my cousin Deb and his wonderful parents, my Uncle and Aunt, and I was scared.
I imagined them without him, and the grief that they would feel.
Paul can’t die. It will create a void in all of our lives that can never be filled.

Paul battled hard.
I have never in my life witnessed so much bravery.
He refused to give up. He refused to lay down his sword and admit defeat.
Even when he was told that he would never get better, he still smiled and said ‘Never say Never’.
Our family had a Christmas get-together and although Paul was tired from fighting, and you could see the pain in his eyes, he was laughing and joking, the Paul we all knew.

My cousin Paul died on the 31^st of July 2013.

I was with him 2 weeks before, and I could not believe that such an amazing, vibrant, strong man with an infectious grin and larrikin personality could be the person, suffering so greatly, laying in front of me.

Cancer is a very cruel disease.

I was away filming MKR when Paul passed away and I wasn’t able to say goodbye with the rest of my family.
I know Paul understood, I know he’s proud and I know he was with me.
There were so many times, when I felt an angel watching over my shoulder while I was competing, and I knew it was Paul.
I could almost hear his voice “Get it out of the oven RIGHT NOW!”
I thought of him often, hoping he was listening and asking for his help.

I am hosting a dinner, for ‘The Longest Table’ on Saturday the 28^th of June, for my family and friends, in Paul’s memory.
We can’t bring Paul back, but we can try to make a difference.
We can dream of a world where Cancer doesn’t invade people’s families and turn them upside down.
We will not be mourning Paul on this night.
We will be celebrating him and every other courageous person who has fought Cancer and survived, or battled with intense bravery, but tragically had to leave us.

Please get on board this amazing cause.
If you can, host a dinner of your own, in honour of someone you love. Even four people at your longest table will be enough.
Or, if you can, please donate. $5.00 or $50.00, it’s totally up to you. Even the smallest amount will add up.
It’s true what they say, ‘One man CAN make a difference’.

I know our guest of honour will be looking down, and smiling that huge smile.
And I’ll be making sure there’s plenty of Cooper’s and bottles of my Bourbon BBQ Sauce, I know he’d like that.

R.I.P. Paul Stump 31/10/1964 - 31/07/2013 - You are gone, but you will never, ever be forgotten xxx

https://www.thelongesttable.com.au/