Every now and then you really need to stop and appreciate the simple things in life.
We’re always so worried about how to make everything bigger and better that we sometimes forget about the fundamentals. The Pioneers if you will. Take for example, the simple Cheese Toasty.
Yes, you heard me… the deliciously decadent, utterly irreplaceable, classic cheese toasty.
After being recently reacquainted with this old friend on a lazy Saturday evening, I was immediately taken back to a time when simple was applauded and sanger’s were King.
In other words… when I was in my early twenties, travelling and too broke to afford anything else… except booze. Ahhh such good times!
Far too often, we are more concerned with adding Smoked Ham and Tomato to just sit back and appreciate that the mother-ship toasty, the one that started it all, really doesn’t need any improvement to make it the best.
Do not tell me, that there is a single cheese loving person reading this right now, who after watching a particular scene in The Devil wears Prada didn’t immediately think to themselves… “Man, I would sell my soul to that grey haired Satan RIGHT NOW for a Jarlsberg toasty!”
I, in fact, feel extreme anger at my very core, every time I watch Anne Hathaway (or should we call her… Anne Toastywalkaway) decline that delicious morsel.
Yes, the beautiful guy from Entourage cooking it is a definite draw card, but quite simply, he pales in comparison to the promise of a pan-fried sandwich filled with $10.00 worth of Norwegian cheese.
Now, I can certainly agree that some cheese toasties aren’t up to scratch. But, really, should we blame this on the toasty or the horrid person making it with substandard ingredients… I prefer to blame the latter.
I have 3 very important rules to adhere to when making the perfect cheese toasty, and here they are in no particular order (ignore them at your peril, for what is the point of such empty calories if they aren’t actually worth it?);
1. For the love of all that is Holy… use a good quality melting cheese.
If you fill it with processed pre-sliced ‘Cheddar’ (unless of course, this is your thing… in which case I’m actually shocked you have even found my blog and are reading it) your toasty will taste like the plastic that hideous cheese was wrapped in.
A good Tasty will always suffice, but in my mind a gorgeous oozy Swiss or sharp English Cheddar… Hallelujah.
2. Butter. That is all.
DO NOT use marjjorine… for God’s sake I can’t even spell it (nor do I want to).
If you do not paint both sides of the bread heavily with all-natural, salted, calorific butter – Yes, that’s right… 4 sides per toasty people… you are really just cheating. OK, you may save on a few grams of fat, but you are cheating your taste buds and you are definitely cheating your toasty.
3. Any sliced bread will do, as long as it’s White.
Look, I can appreciate that there are many folk out there who have trouble digesting white bread. But, realistically, you probably have just as much trouble digesting cheese…No?
So, why not throw caution and suppressed stomach gas to the wind… pun intended.
Please don’t get me wrong, I am an absolute advocate for Dark Rye and Gluten free, I personally prefer these options most of the time. But, when we’re talking about the ultimate cheese toasty, these healthy breads just won’t cut it. A gorgeous, crusty Pane De Casa. A soft, pillowy Cobb loaf…whatever. Pay the digestive price and stick to the white flour program or your toasty will suffer.
So friends, now that you have been armed with enough knowledge to reach epic heights of cheese toasty glory and are reminded of the beauty that exists in this unsung hero, there is only one thing left to do…
Grab that bread, slather on that butter, cram in that cheese and in less than 10 minutes your senses will be in such a dizzying state of ecstasy you’ll wonder how the hell you’d forgotten that they taste SO. DAMN. GOOD.